As I sat there with my 9 piece McNuggets, my medium size fries and coke, I saw the most treasured memory of my childhood burned and turned to ashes. This new movie Ok Jaanu and the Humma humma song. What !? Wasn’t it enough that Bollywood ruined “Deewana Tera” by making Arijit sing it ? You’ll argue Arijit has “sing” in his last name, literally. But hey ! So did Sonu Nigam.

What ! You didn’t know ? His real name is Nonu Singam. I mean…. Everyone knows that ! That’s why he’s such a great singer. People made fun of him. Like you’re laughing right now. Hence, he changed his name. Badshah remixed the song.

So everyone is saying that they hate the new song. But they don’t know why exactly. I’ll help you out with the why ! I’m gonna tell you why the old song was awesome sauce and amazeballs in 10 straight points.

OLD SONG

1.Old song starts. Sick Bongo beats and lady gives wailing vocals. Okay lets see where this is going…
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2.Bongo beats, beatboxing aaaaannnnd this back flip !

wow

 

3.More beatboxing and reverse back flips and pretty girl behind white curtain

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4.“Oomph” by Remo and then BAM ! Sonali ! Badass dance moves ! Michael Jackson ka loser twin but still an awesome dancer. And then “Yaviye”. And then “babadababadaba bye ey yayi ye yayi oh ! Eh eh o”

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5.Ridiculously dynamite Remo singing

“Ek ho gaye hum aur tum.Toh udd gayi ninde re
Aur khanki payal masti mein
Toh (smooth ass vocals) khnnnnnnn khnnnnn khanke re”

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6.ANNNNND HUMMA ! HUMMA ! HUMMA HUMMA HUMMA ! And that’s just the first one minute of the God damn song !

omg_surprised_memeHumma humma.gif

 

7.Remo “Hai pehli baar mile
Tum pe dum yeh nikle Tum pe yeh  jawani dheere dheere
Ma(Smooth ass voice)aaadham machle re ! Humma ! Humma !

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8.*CUE FLUTES*

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9. Smooth Goan voice from the smooth goan rapper and beatboxer THE REMO himself. And then khoooooo hi gaye hum……… !

10. Okay too much awesomeness happening. I cant take it anymore. Stop it. Stop it… Whatever the hell this is , stop. No continue.No stop. No continue. No…

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11. OMG ! FIRE ! HE’S DANCING IN FIRE ! SHE’S DANCING IN FIRE ! WE’RE ALL DANCING IN FIRE ! MY HOUSE IS ON FIRE ! Oh shit call the Fire-putter-outers !

fire

WHAT ! THE SONG IS OVER ? OH GOD NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. REPLAY INFINITE TIMES.

NEW SONG

What ? No crying lady in the start ? No bongo ? No beat boxing ? Not even a backflip ? No rad costumes ? No awesome dance moves ? No REMO !IS THIS A CUTIE VERSION OF THE SONG ? What is this ting ting ting sound !? Why does Aditya Roy Kapoor look like he’s gonna play garba now ? Yuck what is this rapping !?

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(I should have just exited youtube at this point but I had to see what else was there)
Badshah said “I dont mind the comparisons to the A.R.RAHMAN version”. Of course not !

ON A TOTALLY UNRELATED SIDE NOTE, I WONT MIND THIS ARTICLE BEING CONSIDERED FOR A NOBEL PRIZE…

YOU’VE TAKEN IT TOO FAR ! TOO FAR BOLLYWOOD ! TOO GOD DAMN FAR !

Awww you didnt think I’d let you go without a link to song now did you….?

YOU ! ARE ! WELCOME !

NEW SONG LINK ? GET OUT AND DONT EVER SHOW ME YOUR FACE. Its bad enough it comes up in the related autoplay anyway.

 

 

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