Suddenly everyone has gone into panic mode. It’s like a mass power outage in everyone’s brains. Everyone is trying to be very logical about this and explain how it affects corruption but have you thought about the conversations you’ll have to have ?
On a side note, my friends and I thought of digging a mass grave to bury the local politicians and builders in the area (who will die of sudden and painful heart attacks) but then scrapped the plan because we didn’t have enough 100 Rs. notes to pay the daily wage workers.
CONVERSATION NUMBER 1 : RICKSHAWWALA
*Wave and stop a rickshaw*
Where will you go ?
Which route will you want me to take ?
WHICHEVER YOU WANT BABY
Will you take the highway directly from here or from Parle ?
HOWEVER YOU WISH HONEY
Will you keep me waiting ?
NEVER, LOVE !
Will you go to Lilavati side or Carter road side ?
WHERE EVER YOU WILL TAKE ME SWEETIE
Will you yell at me at the signal to drive faster ?
HAWWW ! WOULD I EVER DO THAT SWEET HEART ?
Will you pay me in 500 Rs notes ?
GASP ! YOU THINK I WOULD DO THAT TO YOU ?
Ok then… sit…
Because answering all these questions wasn’t making you feel violated enough already.
CONVERSATION NUMBER 2 : ANSWERING YOUR HOUSEMAID
Maid : I am so tensed. I don’t know what to do.
Me : Why ? How many 500 rupee notes do you have ?
Maid : One.
Me : Take the change from me
Maid : I don’t trust you with my 500. What if you give me counterfeit notes !?
Me : But why would I !?
Maid : Oh please. You’re poorer than me.
CONVERSATION NUMBER 3 : ANSWERING YOUR YOUNGER SISTER
Sister : *Quivering lips and puppy dog eyes welled up with tears holding up the 4000 rupees you gave her on Diwali*
“Why would you do this to me Bhaiyya ? Why ! Don’t you love me ?”
CONVERSATION NUMBER 4 : FENDING OFF THE SCRAP DEALERS
Scrap dealer : I will buy your 500 rupee notes at 1 rupee per kilo.
Me : Ok, untie me please now ?
CONVERSATION NUMBER 5 : LOCAL DRUG DEALERS
*Gets kidnapped for not paying the local drug dealer. Kidnappers take off mask in a dark room. I sit there facing the drug lord*
Drug Lord : Where’s my money punk ?
Me : Here, here. I have all of it right here. *Hands 1000 rupee notes*
Drug Lord : *Throws it back on my face* Shoot this M*****F***** !
CONVERSATION NUMBER 6 : COD ORDERS
Delivery Boy : Ma’am please let go of my leg I have to go make other deliveries.
Me : But my heels !!!
Delivery Boy : I cant take your money. *Drags me to the elevator*
Me : I’m gonna misssshoooooeeeeeee *Left sobbing on elevator floor*
CONVERSATION NUMBER 7 : ANDEWALA
Andewala : How many ?
Me : 333 eggs please.
CONVERSATION NUMBER 8 : COLLEAGUE
Colleague : Trump Wins
Me : Yeh le 500 Rs.
Colleague : Arre lekin bet nahi lagayi thi !
Me : Koi baat nahi. Rakh le.
CONVERSATION NUMBER 9 : POSTMAN
Postman : Diwali Baksheesh
Me : No change sorry.
Postman : Its ok I’ll take 500.
Me : Aap Bahar kyu khade hai, andar aayiye na !
CONVERSATION NUMBER 10 : JEWELLER.
Jeweller : How come you came to buy jewelry today ?
Me : I am getting married next month
Jeweller : *Looks at me suspiciously* Get out….Get out of my shop right now.
CONVERSATION NUMBER 11 : MODIJI
Me : But why mister Prime Minister !? Just whyyyyyyy ! *Cant breathe from pain*
Modiji : * EPIC MIC DROP * PUNT !